Look, we’ve gotten really good at measuring things in hospitality. Check-in times? We track those down to the second. Table turnover? We analyze it with surgical precision. And don’t even get me started on how much we obsess over Net Promoter Scores. We’ve basically built this incredibly smooth machine that processes people at lightning speed.
But here’s the thing that keeps me up at night: efficiency is just the framework. It’s not the actual experience.
We’re so focused on perfecting the mechanics that we’re forgetting about the soul of what we do. Real hospitality—the kind that sticks with someone long after they’ve forgotten what thread count their sheets were—doesn’t happen in the speed of a transaction. It happens in those moments when we actually slow down.
The Power of Really Seeing Someone
Picture a hotel lobby on a Friday night. Absolute chaos. Suitcases rolling everywhere, phones ringing off the hook, exhausted travelers shuffling around impatiently. It’s a storm of “I need this right now.”
There’s a receptionist in the middle of all this madness. If we’re being honest about operational metrics, their job is simple: clear the queue. Type fast, swipe the card, hand over the key, next guest please.
But watch what happens when they make a different choice.
When that receptionist actually stops—truly stops—and makes real eye contact with the person in front of them, something shifts. They’re creating this pocket of calm in the chaos. And in that look, without saying a word, they’re communicating something profound:
“I see you. You’re not just a reservation number. You’re not a problem I need to solve. You’re here, and you matter.”
You can’t put that moment on a spreadsheet. It’s inefficient, technically speaking. But it’s exactly this kind of human connection that builds loyalty. It’s what turns a stranger into a guest, and a building into somewhere people actually want to be.
What Happens When We Don’t
Let’s be real about the alternative. When we’re so busy that we can’t even look people in the eye—when we’re typing while talking, or already scanning the room for the next task while we’re supposed to be helping the person in front of us—that’s not just rude. It’s a fundamental failure of what we’re supposed to be doing.
Looking past someone because you’re focused on the process tells them loud and clear that your systems matter more than they do. That they’re just an obstacle between you and completing your checklist.
Efficiency asks: “How fast can I get through this?” Hospitality asks: “How can I actually connect with this person?”
When we choose speed over connection, we lose what makes this industry meaningful. We become glorified logistics coordinators for sleep and meals.
What Really Matters
We need to stop calling certain skills “soft skills.” Knowing how to use a property management system? That’s trainable. Anyone can learn that. But the ability to recognize when someone’s exhausted and genuinely want to help them feel better? That’s fundamental to who you are.
If we want to bring the humanity back to hospitality, we need to treat these as the actual foundation of what we do:
Radical Empathy: Getting out of your operational headspace and into the emotional reality of what the guest is experiencing.
The Will to Joy: Actually caring about making someone’s day better, even when everything around you is chaos.
Presence Over Pace: Having the discipline to focus on the person in front of you instead of worrying about everyone waiting behind them.
We need to stop apologizing for taking the time to be human. Maybe we should measure success not just by how quickly we move, but by our ability to be fully present when someone needs to be seen.